“Ignorance is bliss.” We are somewhat aware of the harsh problems stirring in the world, but as the quote states, we choose to overlook and blind ourselves from them. Many are quick to neglect sentiments caused by appearances of the suffering taking place in impoverished cultures. Yet, we hesitate to further analyze why these distressing sentiments are present to begin with. Maybe the empathy rises because for a sudden second we put ourselves in the shoes of those living in the somber surroundings. We might imagine the innocent child with a potbelly, as our own younger sibling; or the helpless rape victim, as our own mother. These images then become too severe to further contemplate, and this is when they choose to disregard, because once more, “ignorance is bliss.”

I have a dream project

I find it amazing how two different worlds, can become one. In the small amount of time I spent in Overtown, i learned so much about myself, the students, our differences and what lies between this. I always thought of myself as a girl with patience, and a love for kids. Hence, this experience made me realize much more. Dealing with children is a very difficult task. What is even more difficult, is not only being their "teacher", but also their mentor, and companion. After the first day at Phillis Wheatley, I took time to think about how I would be able to have a friendship, but still be respected. Now that the semester is over, I am so happy and satisfied with the bond Wadeline and I share. The respect that I give to her, is also shown in her behavior towards me. As Wednesdays stroll along, I actually get excited to see her. The best thing about it, is that i know she enjoys this time with me too. I feel love, and trust between her and I.

I also feel as though my friendship with her, is a positive influence in both of our lives. Wadeline has actually helped me see things from a different perspective. She has made me realize realities that I never before imagined to exist. She has made me feel pain, that I never before would have imagined to feel. One week, as she broke down about the turmoil in her life, I shared this pain with her. Although we are two different individuals, we shared a moment of oneness.

Conformity

We walk into this world unknowingly getting prepared to follow a path that has been paved for us.  Along with this thought, come questions and insights. Who makes this path? Why is it here? Why do I continue to walk along it?  This road I am forced to walk on is aligned with negativity.  It is the road of dissatisfaction, and deterioration.  We are manipulated into believing that success and money grant us joy, but do these superficialites really do so? Although I believe they do not, it is very difficult task to see past these ideas, due their firm place in my mind, and behavior.  This perception may  drift us away from joy due to feelings caused by it, (envy, ungratefulness) but few of us realize this. 

I first imagined this open topic essay to be easier than the essays I was previously used to, but a river of thoughts overflowed my mind merely from the moment I started exploring. This overwhelming feeling was the stem of my realization on this uniform and robotic world.

 

As time goes on, I realize more and more that knowledge has lost much value.  I believe all teachers should be healers, but, unfortunately I have rarely experienced this in my lifetime.  It seems as if we are simply being taught to take tests, rather than to learn in a deeper, mindful state. Our strict systems lack room for this.  Due to such an aggressive system, we are driven away from the beauty of art, writing, reading etc. What occurred me to think this was when we asked the children in Phillis Wheatley Elementary to define the purpose of reading. My mental response was something similar to “Reading helps us embrace beauties, experiences, and knowledge from a perspective different than our own.” Obviously I didn’t expect an answer like that from 5^th graders, but I did find it interesting that most of the responses the children made were linked to jobs, bills, and contracts. These children overlook the embrace of beauties, experiences and knowledge in reading.  This made me analyze the issue about the decrease in the interest for reading, and the increase in the amount of hate towards it.   This analysis also made me think about the way I felt towards reading and writing when I was a child.   I was unable to grasp the importance of these things. Like the children, I too overlooked them. Until the day I asked my older brother why he was doing his reading homework on a fun beach day. His answer was so simple, but at the time, it played as an epiphany in my life.  He told me that reading was actually something that he cherished and respected.  I had never imagined this possible, until I decided to test out my brother’s opinion.  Fortunately for me, I learned to actually appreciate the beauty in these areas.  Due to our negative conditioning, such possessions do not come easily.

Unfortunately, attaining good grades has become more important to students than gaining knowledge.  In order to receive these grades, students do what is counter productive at times. For instance, cheating or plagiarizing.  We no longer care about what we mentally gain or lose. Not only has this affected the amount of knowledge we gain, but it has also caused us to become accustomed to an inactive mental state. Unfortunately, the mental lethargy stunts our growth. As pressured students attached to memorization, busy work, and uniformed essays, we sometimes see past thinking of complexities, because it is different and complicated; because it steps out of our accustomed horizon.  This is the reason that this essay holds much significance and symbolism for me.  I was unrestrained and free to run outside horizons.

Lack of interest in mental growth is only one of the imperceptible side effects of our infectious system. We have been held captive in our stress-filled view on life.   I wake up each morning prepared for yet another day of tasks, tests, and lectures.  I sometimes have endless nights of homework and studying.  While many times I want to surrender from all the hard work, visualizing success prohibits me to do so.  Once my goal of success (admission to a propitious university) has been reached, it will become a stepping-stone towards a different goal. Then when that goal has been reached, it will again become a stepping-stone towards a different, larger goal. Setting goals and attaining them is an important value in our lives. As being persistent, ambitious and driven are all as well.  While all these qualities sound amazing, I wonder whether I will finally reach happiness being a driven, persistent, and ambitious person. We are all taught to believe that having these qualities will guide us towards abundance, and that abundance will guide us towards a rich, beautiful life. I ponder about how hard my mother works, the stress and mental turbulence that these "amazing" qualities have brought into her life. My mother is merely one example of how drive, and ambition can cause detrimental effects on emotions, and inner beings.  While we think that this "hard working lifestyle" is the way of life, I have realized that we are actually butchering ourselves.  While depression, stress and suicide rates have risen in our country due to this drive towards the American dream; our blurred vision stays focused on the crooked road.  

This system depends on its civilians for economic stability, and it is this system that drills how glamorous and satisfying money can.  Billboards scream out how luxurious the 2008 Mercedes Benz is. TV commercials illuminate precious diamonds that can prove your love towards her.  By further analyzing this concept on the money and its gratification, realization rises. 

This concept is the reason why human beings are never satisfied with what we have. It is the reason why we always crave for more. Why we do not understand the difference between the happiness in superficial, momentary things and in the joy from within ourselves.  This concept is yet also the reason why we have lost the utmost important values of our existence.  We have chosen goals, money, and success over warmth, values and family.  It is no wonder that even our perception on “family” is being tainted with divorces, lack of time, love, and attention. Or how ethics have been abandoned. Unfortunately, many are blinded. We are held captive in a world where only few are fighting to break free.  

Train of thoughts on "healers"

For over ten years, I have been exposed to so called "healers", or better said "teachers", if that. While I can say that there are many teachers whom heal, I can also say to a bigger measure that many simply do not. Some, can even do quite the opposite.  Who to blame though? Myself? The teacher? The system?  I guess all affect the question "Are teachers healers?" Of course I can affect it.  If I am a bitch, if i have a dreadful and annoyed perception and mind state, is that the professors fault?  Not really.  What if the teachers themselves are just bitter bitches?  What about THEIR mind state?  What if they don't want to be anywhere near students, black boards, or dade county schools as a whole? 

 But what if the actually do want to be around the noisy and annoying kids, or the crammed and smelly classrooms?  And yet, they still can't consider themselves healers, nor be considered by others as healers.  Then what? 

Sometimes it's just to difficult to grasp the essence of knowledge. Why? If it is something oh so beautiful? Why is it all so horrible when you're waking up in the dawn of the morning to finish what's left of cramming inside your eeeever so big brain. That feels as if it is about to explode due to the 800,000 definitions, formulas, and names you have been forced to drill and hammer in. Because if you don't then you won't get anything higher than a C, and if you get a C your GPA goes down to a 3.3 and God forbid those numbers go down. Because then you're just a disgrace.   Isn't it amazing how such a number, can give such a feeling? It can make you feel as high as ever, but all at the same time, like dirt.  Yes, this number does in a sense determine your responsibility, and maturity,  but then again, it can also determine the amount of the cheating, stupid extra credit ("stay after school and file papers, and i'll bump your B up to an A".), and mindless work we have done in order to obtain it.    

This Aggressive, Pessimist System

I love the fact that we can write about anything, but it makes is all so much more difficult.  Difficult because we are rarely given open options. Everything is just so boxy. So uniformed. Repetitions after repetitions.  Five paragraphs, persuasive, "big, intelligent" words.  Don't get me wrong, this whole concept seems much harder, but all in all, I'm excited. It's actually challenging my mind, and discovering my thoughts. So many of us are forced into hating such beautiful things like writing and reading because of this aggressive, pessimist system. Maybe that's what I'll write about. This aggressive pessimist system. 

Wadline and Phillis Wheatley

"I'm so happy with the Phillis Wheatley project man.  Wadline is such an amazing girl. When i first met her, I thought it would be so difficult dealing with a such an aggressive character.  It really has been, but with the difficulty comes the glory.  I've worked really hard to gain her trust and respect. It has made me go through a thought process that i've never approached before.  And I'm so happy with it.  I feel results, and the best part about it, is that my goal is not to see results.  The fact that they are shooting at me only makes the whole experience even better.  I love seeing that my girls (Wadline and Fantasia) actually want to read, enjoy it, and more than anything, comprehend it.  I decided to discuss what we read on a deeper level as well, and I'm really happy they appreciated it.  What I am "iffy" about though, is the amount of time we see them. I mean, I understand that we cant, but i just wish we could. I got to talk to the girls about drugs and it just amazed me.  I mean the first time i had seen pot was in the eight or ninth grade, and that's that I thought I was overly exposed for my age.  These kids are not even teenagers yet. They should still be vulnerable, naive, and innocent. But they are not at all.  Being vulnerable is not even a question for them. I didn't even ask them whether they would try drugs, and their strong and firm stance against the idea shocked me.  It is amazing that these hard drugs are all around them, and they just seem to understand how destructive they are. Regardless of the fact that their family members approve of them. We cease to realize this horrifying situation. We have just become so accustomed to the idea that there are poor black people whom are unseen by society.  Yesterday i got so angry for a moment.  I was discussing my day in Phillis Wheatley with my mom, and step dad. I told them how sad it is that that these young lives see horrible things, and it is completely accepted by our culture.  My step dad immediately jumped at me and told me that it was sad, but it was something that had to be, and that it was best to simply overlook sad realities, and get as far away from them as possible.  The first thing i said after he said this was "I'm doing this program again, next semester".  My mom got kind of angry and worrisome.  It's people like them that maintain and promote these huge divisions.