Train of thoughts on "healers"

For over ten years, I have been exposed to so called "healers", or better said "teachers", if that. While I can say that there are many teachers whom heal, I can also say to a bigger measure that many simply do not. Some, can even do quite the opposite.  Who to blame though? Myself? The teacher? The system?  I guess all affect the question "Are teachers healers?" Of course I can affect it.  If I am a bitch, if i have a dreadful and annoyed perception and mind state, is that the professors fault?  Not really.  What if the teachers themselves are just bitter bitches?  What about THEIR mind state?  What if they don't want to be anywhere near students, black boards, or dade county schools as a whole? 

 But what if the actually do want to be around the noisy and annoying kids, or the crammed and smelly classrooms?  And yet, they still can't consider themselves healers, nor be considered by others as healers.  Then what? 

Sometimes it's just to difficult to grasp the essence of knowledge. Why? If it is something oh so beautiful? Why is it all so horrible when you're waking up in the dawn of the morning to finish what's left of cramming inside your eeeever so big brain. That feels as if it is about to explode due to the 800,000 definitions, formulas, and names you have been forced to drill and hammer in. Because if you don't then you won't get anything higher than a C, and if you get a C your GPA goes down to a 3.3 and God forbid those numbers go down. Because then you're just a disgrace.   Isn't it amazing how such a number, can give such a feeling? It can make you feel as high as ever, but all at the same time, like dirt.  Yes, this number does in a sense determine your responsibility, and maturity,  but then again, it can also determine the amount of the cheating, stupid extra credit ("stay after school and file papers, and i'll bump your B up to an A".), and mindless work we have done in order to obtain it.